Monday, August 16, 2010

Good bye Pat

A very dear friend of mine recently passed away from malignant melanoma. Pat was only 60 years old. She had just retired after teaching for 25+ years.  Here is the link to her obituary. Scroll down to read all the comments in her guestbook. It is touching to read all the accolades from the students she has taught over the years:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/thestar/obituary.aspx?n=patricia-fors&pid=144612465


Pat was diagnosed with stage IV malignant melanoma in June, and she was dead by August 10.  We are all in shock over how quickly it was over. I am so sad and heartsick over the injustice of it all.  I just can't make sense of any of this. I was told it isn't going to make sense and to stop trying. But right now I can't.

A friend of mine told me to... "Try and find solace in the fact there are many around you alive and death is an unfortunate part of our world, our life.Think of the good times with her and smile. She would rather you do that."

I know he is trying to console me, and he is right, Pat would want us all to remember her and smile.  But right now there isn't much anyone can say to make me feel better. It's going to take time.  And I don't feel like smiling much.

I worked with Pat for over 22 years.  She was one of the most intelligent, caring, articulate women I have ever met.  She had class and grace.   We were co-ordinators together and shared good and not so many good times together. Anyone reading this who works with me will know what I am talking about.

Pat knew how to have a good time! I have so many memories of business trips out East, the fun times at dinners, lunches.  Many other memories as well. I can still hear her voice asking me if "I am doing ok?"

We had talked a fair bit during the past year about her upcoming retirement. I was so happy for her, listening to all the plans she was making. All the things she was going to do. I remember thinking how happy I was for her that she was retiring, yet I was also feeling sad,  thinking about how much I would miss her.

Then this happened.  The last time I saw Pat was at her retirement party. She knew her diagnosis then. We all knew. She was already feeling tired, had started losing weight. Yet she still wanted to come to her party to see all of us.   I spoke with her a bit about her daughter Sara, her family etc. We didn't talk about her cancer.  I left before she did and when I hugged her good-bye I kissed her.  I cried all the way home. That was the last time I saw Pat.

Here is a picture of me and Pat at the retirement party in June of this year:




Here is a picture of Pat taken in June 2007. Some of us went out to lunch after graduation.




Kyrie Eleison means "Lord have mercy on us." I am really not a religous person, so that is not  why I am posting the lyrics and the video to this song. I don't know if Pat liked this song or not but I do.  I find it sad but uplifting at the same time.


Kyrie Eleison

The wind blows hard against this mountainside
Across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide
Setting my feet upon the road
My heart is old it holds my memories
My body burns a gemlike flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine
Is where I find myself again

Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night

Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the light

When I was young I thought of growing old
Of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road
Or only wished what I could be


Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the light

Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the light





I'm going to miss you Pat. xooxox

2 comments:

  1. This is just so sad. Nothing anyone cay say is going to help really, but I am so sorry you lost your friens. She looked like a wonderful person. And I like that song too. I hope Pat is in a better place, I believe she is. I also hope you feel better soon.

    PussDaddy

    ReplyDelete

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